My Story...Gods Amazing Wisdom, Part Two

It started out the same way, we used Clomid. But after 5 months and no pregnancy, my OB referred me to the Infertility Clinic. The first appointment was an all day event. They asked all sorts of questions, and did several tests. At the end of the day, we were sent home so they could come up with a plan. We left that day with a folder of papers and information. My head was spinning. The folder had charts, schedules, lists of over the counter medicines that were good to use if I were feeling ill, and the ones to stay away from. We received a handout describing the side effects of various drugs we might be using, and instructions on what to do in case the side effects occurred. It was very over whelming, but I had hope. Statically, things looked pretty good for us. I wanted another child so badly, I thought I could endure anything.

Over the next several years, I got to know the fertility Dr's all too well. I knew the Ultra Sound Tech by first name and she knew mine. Her smile and face became comforting. I knew I had a friend in a scary place.

I learned about follicles and thickness of the uterine lining. I learned about drugs that stimulated my ovaries, and drugs that shut down my system. I was given a diagram of where my shots would be given, my body had marker on it so I would hit the right spot. I learned to self administer shots several times a day. Everything was done on a schedule, nothing was sacred anymore. . I was bloated, gained weight and emotionally a wreck. My legs and hips ached from all the shots. My thighs were sore from being poked, my muscles ached from Progesterone shots. It hurt to walk. I felt broken, and no one knew how to fix me. 4 IUI's and nothing. Negative, negative, negative, negative. Would I ever see a positive pregnancy test again?

After another consultation with the Dr, we decided it would be best to move on to an IVF procedure. My body was good at producing eggs. Our egg retrieval went perfect. However, several days later, my ovaries hyper stimulated. I spend 5 days in the hospital getting fluid drained off of my abdomen. The first time they drained the fluid, I was alone. It was in the middle of the day. I remember laying in the bed, trembling with fear as I had never trembled before. My body shook uncontrollably. I stared at the ceiling, tears streaming down my cheeks. The needle was the biggest thing I had ever seen. I am guessing it was 4-5 inches long. They took 2 liters off my abdomen that afternoon and in the following days they 'drained' me several more times. I was told Hyper Stimulating could be good. It meant my body had started to produce its own hormones and I was most likely pregnant. Hope, I had it again... It turned out to be a chemical pregnancy, another failed attempt.